Fergal Coen writes in with an epic race report from London Triathlon last weekend...Fergal Coen writes in with an epic race report from London Triathlon last weekend...
Let the games begin. A Friday morning flight brought five members of the Security Council of Piranha to London with Eoin arriving later. This was decided at committee level for his own safety as one Niall Smart was ready to do battle with him on the streets of London on the bike. The rivalry between the two is similar to the Ali-Foreman, Keane–Quinn debacle. I felt a bit like Johnny Giles trying to keep the peace but of course Frank fancied himself as a bit of an Eamon Dunphy and kept stirring the pot. He kept calling me an old Uncle Tom, whatever that means. There were many references made to the unibomber incident earlier in the year and it seemed that the raw emotion and feelings could even start in the water. Niall AKA Hannibal might be on TV3 news again this year. The two Daves tried to act as intermediaries but alas they failed. In the end it was decided that they would have to start in different waves and do their talking on the bikes on Sunday morning. Thank God we stayed in different hotels.
Friday evening was a time to do some reconnaissance of the course. The swim route to be held in the London Docklands is a deep water area fed by the Thames with no currents or waves – perfect conditions for setting new personal bests. This was the first time any of us got a clear overview of what a 1500 metre swim is like without something blocking your view. All that came to my mind when I saw it was Shelly’s poem, Ozymandias and in particular the line “My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings: Look on my works ye mighty and despair”. It was as if the old cranes, relics of the shipping age, which lined the banks of the course were sending out a sneer and cold command. It seemed that there was life still stamped on these lifeless things and that nobody was going to claim their waters. All of us felt the despair but sure its nothing that cannot be cured with the help of a few Jack Daniels said I. Dave was in agreement. After all he had been through already in his Kofi Anann role and in preparation for what lay ahead he needed a few stiff ones. I think he felt the effects of this nights drinking all weekend – stay tuned for more.
Saturday morning and all the Piranha’s descended on the Excel Centre, the site of the London Tri expo and more importantly the transition area for the bikes. Take a deep breath because this journey will take a while to explain. This transition area is no doubt the largest, biggest, hugest, gigantic most amazing transition area you’ll ever see and its all under one roof. The event had to cater for 10,000 triathletes’ so in size terms I want you to think of the RDS. Multiply this area by ten to the power of six and then add a few noughts for good measure. Now you’ll get some idea of how big transition really is- and it all worked like clockwork. Militaristic planning and organisational skills were put in place by London tri to ensure we all got into transition with our bikes for the race on Sunday. A brilliant piece of management, which obviously required endless hours of dedication.
The spirit, camaraderie, and joyful disposition of everyone at the expo was a sight to behold. Athletes from all over the world swapped stories and tales and looked on in amazement at the sheer scale of the event. Hamish Carter was there for the elite event as was Tim Donn and Irishman Eanna McGrath. Outside the sprint distance participants were hard at it while the Olympic distance competitors carb loaded inside, for the event on Sunday.
Sunday morning and nerve levels suddenly hit def-con one. The day of reckoning had arrived and it did not help to be awakened to Hannibal trying to gee himself up for his nine o’clock start with Dave Tilly aka Alexander the Great. Due to diplomacy efforts from the day before, Frank, Eoin and Dave had already went out in the seven o’ clock wave. I still had a few hours before kick off and I decided to have a leisurely breakfast. Spirits were high and patience was wearing thin at this stage though and it wasn’t too leisurely. As one triathlete said to me while eating porridge ‘if worrying was an Olympic event I’d win the gold medal for sure’. At the same time all I could think of was Pat Shorts Jumbo Breakfast Roll song, from the Hell of the West Tri in Kilkee, ‘my blood sugar level are good to go and my cholesterol is low and in the morning I’d sell my soul……’. This kept ringing in my ear all morning along with the Beatles ‘I am the walrus’. God, I hope I’m not developing the early stages of senility. Coo coo coochoo, I think you are. 
Ugi Ugi Ugi-Oi Oi Oi, Ugi Ugi Ugi-Oi Oi Oi, Ugi-Oi, Ugi Ugi Ugi-Oi Oi Oi. The call to battle went out 10,000 times by the centurion in charge with the starter pistol. The war had started and survival was paramount. This coliseum of the Thames River was not going to defeat any of us. I felt like Maximus Meridius taking on the might of the Roman Empire, William Wallice taking on the English army and Brian O’Driscoll lining out for the Irish Rugby team in Twickenham, all rolled into one. I had to avenge all those terrible mistakes experienced in my rookie year. A quick prayer to the pantheon of Gods and Godesses of war before the roar went up, and we were off for the 1500 metre swim of the London Triathlon.
Sure enough I was still able to give a verse of a song ‘I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together, see how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly. I'm crying.’ Well sure enough I felt like crying with all the kicking and smashing but I managed to get through the mayhem in 30 minutes and started on the bike. A demanding technical course with lots of roundabouts, hills, and flats where it was very difficult to maintain a high speed for any long periods of time.
The run course followed which was two laps of a very flat docklands bank, with just a pinch of a hill going into the Excel centre. Water stations were dotted around the course with sprinklers added to cool us down. This was a great idea as the afternoon competitors had to compete in temperatures of 30 degrees Celsius.
At one stage on the run I was nearly decapitated by a guy who competed the bike and run section of the course in a medieval armour plated suit for charity. He stopped in the middle of the run course, arms outstretched and managed to land a few blows on other competitors as well. All in good fun though and quiet funny actually as he had helpers who carried a chair around for him to sit on every 100 yards. It was a great achievement and along with hundreds of others nearly GBP 2m was raised for charity.
The finish was held in the Excel centre itself where huge crowds had gathered to welcome and cheer their family members and friends across the line. All the lads were there at the finish to cheer me home and it was great to see Eoin and Niall on good terms again. As John Lennon said ‘reality leaves a lot to the imagination’ and although I haven’t as good an imagination as Frank, we can still spin one. We all waited in anticipation for the results to be texted to our phones later that night to lay to rest who was the quicker of the two on the bike. It would be interesting to see who I would have a buy a slice of humble pie for at dinner that night.
The biggest story of the day and greatest achievement of the day has to go to Dave Leonard. Like his adopted alias Napoleon, Dave also found himself exiled – the name suited him. This time though it was around Westminster where he decided to do some sight seeing of the London bicycle shops. Ah well not really, he got a puncture at Big Ben and after putting on the new tube he realised that he forgot his pump – his memory couldn’t be good after all the whiskey he took on Friday night. After running around the centre of London he eventually found a shop that saved his bacon You’re a lucky man Dave! Like Napoleon he got back on track once more but you might not be as lucky again mate. There is not too many bike shops open at 8 on a Sunday morning anywhere. The great thing though is that he managed to break 40 minutes on the run after all this hardship. Dave Tilly, Niall and Frank also broke the 40-minute barrier.
Niall also happened to be passed on the bike course by a penny-farthing but he still managed to beat off Ramses AKA Eoin by a minute. Thses guys were really flying on the bikes posting times of 1hr 5 minutes and Ihr 6minutes respectively. Eoin also told a great story of how he got chased down by two bananas running for charity – you couldn’t make it up- while Frank dreamed about the Swedish girls he raced against in the swim or were they the imaginary ones they were told to chase down at the end of the swim. I don’t know. Frank has a great imagination with a few JDs’ in him.
The London Triathlon is a great event, with a great atmosphere. It is very well organised and safety and security are top priority. Transition is unbelievable and it is worth the trip over just to see what 10,000 bikes all racked together looks like. The bike route makes its way through all the famous and historical landmarks, which adds greatly to the ambience of the event and feeling of accomplishment. With London set to host the Olympics in 2012 and with Triathlons growing more in popularity all over Ireland and the UK, I think everybody in Piranha Tri should consider making the trip over next year. It’s a brilliant occasion, which would restore your faith in humanity.
The six generals from history will definitely be making the trip again. My name is Gladiator and I’ll be making the trip back.
Finish Times
Dave Tilley 2:12.44
Niall Smart 2:15.51
Eoin o Flaherty 2:19.40
Frank Kehoe 2:20.10
Fergal Coen 2:38.07
David Leonard 3:08.35
Related Links
Niall Smart's photos on Flickr
Run Photos
London Triathlon Videos
The London Triathlon website
PiranhaTri
http://www.piranhatri.com/article.php/20060809230037725