Once again Kenmare wraps up the season for most people. Read on for the low down on this year's race.Once again Kenmare wraps up the season for most people. Read on for the low down on this year's race.
I was lucky to be able to pick up a late transfer for the race; strange as this was supposed to be impossible according to the Cork Tri website. At least it gave me a chance to get some more experience of longer races before Ironman next year, and maybe to right a few wrongs from last year (I had a muscle spasm at the top of the Healy pass and struggled from then on). Unlike last year where there was a bunch of excited newcomers to long distance races, the race had a kind of valedictory feel for many of us. After a long season and most people's 'A' races behind them, it seemed like a race too far, beyond even the normal pre-race hesitations. Even Tom Kelly, who had all season been talking up this race as his major target, was frantically back-tracking (and boasting he was going to take Brian Campbell at the same time!). Noelle was much more enthusiastic on her first half-ironman, however, even pronouncing that she was going to "own the race"!
I'd arranged to go down with Tom on the Thursday before the race; little traffic and a chilled out Friday with a bit of training: great plan. The journey down provided a whole gamut of topics of conversation including nutrition; weddings (prompted by a bizarre road sign asking "are you getting married?"); dialectical materialism (that was more monologue than dialogue); helicopter take off methods; pre-race toilet strategy (this report will veer off into the scatalogical, I'm afraid, much like the conversation all weekend) - Tom preferred a 4-stop strategy, while I thought 3 would be enough (they don't call him the dump truck for nothing; I wouldn't put the eye of a needle anywhere behind him!). Having said that if we'd known that the toilets at the start weren't flushing we would have chosen zero stops; I know why those guys preferred to go in transition and risk DQ.
Friday involved a late brekky and a few short bike intervals, followed by a short, fast run. I then had the pleasure of introducing people to the joy of Quorn burgers (no meat, no fat, no taste). This was followed by a session being a bike nerd, cleaning and servicing even to the degree of polishing every spoke. I balked at taking this any further by leg shaving; As Frank (now known as Fran Key-Hoe) asked, where do you stop? If you just go as far as the tri suit you'd end up with a pair of hairy shorts! People gradually start filtering down later in the evening, "lonesome" Niall Larkin, Ian and Noelle, Niall McD, Sam, all with the usual tales of traffic woe (BORING!).
The same crowd meet at just before 6 the next morning, after a 5am start to shove down some porridge. It's still dark and drizzling as "team Piranha" set out on their mission (I think I was a bit delerious with lack of sleep!). Transition is strange as the first 30 places were assigned, the rest a free for all. Don't ask Tom what their rationale was, he's still put out that he didn't get a place after finishing 4th last year! (He's since demanded one for next year). We walk the 1km over to the start in the dawn gloom, not really awake enough to take in what's about to come. Soon enough we're in the water, after a lot of bossing by the organizers (they do like to bark out a lot of orders down there; I felt like a sheep being herded). I stay left and have an almost trouble-free and straight swim to the 1st buoy. In fact the whole swim was very comfortable, except when passing a boat after half-way where swimming was like drinking petrol. A swim under the bridge was great as lots of early risers are cheering us on; I feel like I'm in a proper race for the first time!
We're helped out of the water but unfortunately it's been raining since the start and glasses, helmets and socks are soaked (socks were the only comfort I decided on this year; no 3 min transitions for me as last year). I couldn't even see through the glasses properly and jump on the bike before the mount line (shouted at again, luckily no penalty). I'd decided to be conservative this year: no Zipps in case of puncture; no tri bars so I wouldn't put pressure on the back (much tut-tutting from Tom who thought I should go for it). Soon forget the drizzle as I try a gel for the first time, only to curse it as my bottle of fresh water was so wet it slipped out of my hands (Anne was very generous in offering me one her's; mind you she had about 6 of them attached to various parts of her bike). The Healy pass was a really good climb, but again I'm conservative, ignoring Scott's advice from training the week before to "suffer all the way". I keep it comfortable the rest of the bike, except for the need to pee (as usual). We'd discussed this before the race and I was determined not to stop (for those of you who don't want to know the result, look away now). Going while going, on the bike, means literally peeing on the bike; and legs; and shoes. And you can never quite finish so there's no real relief. And the pretty girl who finished second overall decides to catch up with me just as I'm slowing down to go. And the draft marshall overtakes me as I'm going second time around! Not a great success, but I didn't stop! The bike is soon over, though the legs are starting to get heavy in the last 5k, despite being comfortable all the way and not really time-trialling it.
Start on the run and manage to meet a Piranha I didn't know (hello Brendan), only to be distracted when another girl runs out of the bushes pulling up her shorts and the pretty girl passes me again (I resist the temptation to keep up with her, but manage to overtake her after the turn around). Again keep it very comfortable all the way, but decide against the gels as I can still feel the last one from the bike sitting in my stomach (I've got to practice that for next year). Start to see people from the club on the turn around; Tom and Matt well up the field, both having very good races; Sam just in front, Ian and Frank close behind (it must be the speed difference in running opposite directions but everyone seems to be running faster than me; maybe I shouldn't be so comfortable). Try to go a bit faster and manage to catch a guy who passed me earlier, only for him to stay on my tail gasping, wheezing, gobbing and spluttering for about 2km. So I was glad to see Sam just ahead, but just before I catch up with him he calls out without looking "I 'ear ze creaking of an old man coming behind". Touche. He's been waiting for that since I slagged him for walking last year in Mullaghmore. I'll give him that one... Blx; I won't: he was still walking and he seemed to be having a picnic in transition judging by his times there (more foie gras Sam?!). Either that or he's doing his impression of Colm "lost in transition" O'Leary. Try to pick up the pace for the last 5k but it becomes harder when the 1k markers disappear for the last few km (jeez this is a long kilometre). I see a guy ahead walking so I start to run faster; manage to get past him and another guy though the calves are very heavy (I felt a tightening on the hills and was hoping I wouldn't get a full blown cramp). Manage to start a sprint finish (or less slow finish!) until a car stops in front of me on the finishing chute (cue my commuting habit of shouting at stupid car drivers). No high fives for me as I cross the line. Better times all round than last year and all targets met;can't ask for more than that (interestingly all my positions for each discipline are fairly even, and all further down the field than my overall).
Great to see everyone in the finishing area, but no sign of Niall McD, nor on the run. He'd decided he was a snow boarder and was taking the short way down the Healy pass. Either that or he thought the bike would ride him down (only fair, it took him up). It got a reasonable soft landing though, on his head (he honestly was more worried about his bike than himself!). Someone was even daft enough to try and follow him down, sacrificing his two front teeth in the process. Niall decides to head to the pub at one o'clock to watch footy and have a consolation beer; and Bulmers; and wine at dinner; and shots in the bar. He was VERY consoled by the end of the night.
Things we learned from the night out:
1. Matt Coughlan can jive
2. So can Anne O'Leary.
3. Ian can limp.
4. Niall Larkin can sleep standing up.
5. I dislike being hugged by stupid, sweaty people. Or just stupid people. Or people full stop. No hugs thanks.
6. Niall McD prefers to sleep in his car than his bed.
7. A certain engaged, soon-to-be-married man gets a kick out of hassling my sister by text on my phone when he's pissed (very pissed). I won't say who it is but if you put the word 'max' after his initials you have the name of a popular discount branded clothes store.
And that was the end of that, except for a very enjoyable (though hungover) drive home eating bizzare food combinations (white chocolate mixed with Tayto cheese and onion anyone?), and gossiping like a couple of fishwives. Thanks for the lift TK, sorry I mean Tom Kelly!
PiranhaTri
http://www.piranhatri.com/article.php/20070916204317263